Embracing Singleness

When you think of singleness, some people view it as a negative thing. It’s either Married/in a relationship = Happy or Single = Lonely. And if you just so happened to be single then comes Family and friends with the consistent questions of “Are you dating someone?”, “Why are you single?”, “When are you getting married?” and so on. It’s become so negative that many people try to avoid it or become afraid to be single. But let me tell you singleness can be the most enlightening season of your life if you embrace it.

I entered into singleness over 2 and a half years ago out of a 6-year relationship. Instead of looking for the next thing, I chose to focus on myself. I envisioned the woman I wanted to be and chose to work towards her. Honestly, It was hard at first because of course, we all long for companionship. I had to take my focus off of having a partner and focus on the freedom that I had. During this season of my life, I was healed from my past. I found my true identity again and continued to grow. Not only did I deal with myself internally but I also had fun and got my life together.

I was able to set goals and accomplish them. I focused on managing my money well and got on the road to becoming debt-free. I travel and spend time with my loved ones. I focused on my career and embraced the creativity that I had. I had tons of self-care days and treated myself to nice things.

I did all these things without having to consider another person’s time, decisions, or feelings. I’ve learned so much about myself and my value. I realized that nobody will value you until you value you.

I can say from personal experience that I wouldn’t have been able to embrace this season without growing my relationship with God. He gave me the strength, peace, and joy I needed to work on all these other things. As I did this over time it became easier day by day. To the point where now I’m even more careful about who I date or let in my life. I created my sanctuary and not anyone can enter that place.

So if you are currently in this season or thinking about entering this season, I encourage you to push past the negative outlook and fear. Embrace your singleness journey and become the better version of you. I believe that if you embrace this season you will ultimately date and marry better. You attract what you are. Don’t believe the lie that you're lonely. You are just in your becoming season until that person worth sharing your sanctuary with comes along.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 – to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven