Loneliness vs the Holidays

When I first started my singleness journey 4 years ago, the holiday season used to be one of the toughest times. Although I intentionally chose not to date in the beginning, I still felt lonely at certain moments. Seeing all the holiday cheer and love going around made me feel sad inside. Even when there were people around me, I still felt lonely. I never understood why the holiday season brought that feeling or amplified it as I didn’t feel it as much before. However, I knew it was something I had to overcome before I could let anyone new in my life because "man" cannot fill the void of loneliness.

You may be battling with loneliness, depression, or sadness this holiday season but don’t settle. Give it to God and get back to a place of contentment. Sometimes there may be seasons where God needs you to be alone so he can show you some things, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to feel lonely. Alone and lonely are two different things. When you are alone you are content in your oneness and in God. Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected and unsatisfied on the inside. It doesn’t matter whether you are by yourself or around people. God cares too much about you to let you feel lonely, if he has you by yourself, he knows you can handle it for the time being even if you think you can't. Renew your mind and change your perspective of your aloneness. Don't let it become loneliness.

Overcoming my loneliness changed my perspective of life and helped me to be open to the things and people around me. God was able to bring love, peace, and joy through unexpected ways because I was open to it. I’ve been able to fully embrace the holiday season and enjoy it every year without going back to that place. The same can be for you, you don’t have to stay in that place. Here are a few things I've done to help me overcome loneliness:

1. Be honest with yourself about how you feel. You can't overcome something that you are in denial of.

2. Spend time with God and allow his spirit to fill that disconnect

3. Get around people who love you whether it’s family, friends, or community. And if you don’t have anyone, just get in a positive environment inside or outside of your home. The key is to open your mind to the good things around you no matter where you are.

4. Intentionally do things you love, treat yourself. Enjoy yourself.

5. Remember it’s okay to be alone. Most of the time you're in that season for a reason. So be content and keep your eyes open to your purpose in that season. God wants community for you, he doesn’t want you to be by yourself all the time.

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭

Loneliness is hard to get through no matter what time of the year, but God is bigger than that. Take your life back and don’t let loneliness defeat you. I hope this helps you and know that God is with you if no one else is. Happy Holidays!

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

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